learning

these few days has been a learning process...
thanks to ger who has seen me through one of those days.
she once mentioned, when 2 pple get together and feelings starts building, we would want to meet each other everyday.

feeling tired.
maybe cause the feelings are increasingly intensive.
and then suddenly one loses balance, and before anyone is able to stabilise, the relationship changes its dynamic. from crawling baby, we've moved on to running..

tiredness comes from lack of sleep, comes from the disappointment, comes from the intense feeling to want to care for someone, and making sure that that person is well taken care of. maybe cause kept running about, and no appreciation, therefore the anxiety.

sunday - the call came that leg was sprained. firstly lack of sleep from saturday. slept at 3am that night. was trying to sleep when the call came. the call did not register, and shortly after that i totally knocked out unexpectedly. went out of house, when telling my dad, then i realised, i've got to go over to make sure things are ok. and then i've missed my first ever salsa performance class.things just moved on throughout the day... and i went home, with a heavy heart, heavy head.

monday - wednesday things went well. home visits with dinner. in a way i was exposed to another side of a person. to get to know the person better. suddenly the differences are highlighted, the similarities are felt, the feelings are intensified.

i realise that its really a love-hate thing. love the feelings, hate the feelings that it brings. hate the ugly side of me that i see, love the things that have been said or heard.

sense of insecurities comes both ways.
got to learn to accept each other.
learn to think positively
learn to communicate
learn to give and take
learn to trust
learn to love